Some drops of blood & some pains – A Bloody Hand

April 27, 2009 § 16 Comments


bloody_hand

Some times we have so much pain inside our heart. And some times, some unlucky and unfortunate people on this world don’t even have the chance to express their pain to make themselves lighter. Some times our pains are so heavy in our vain that it stops our breathing, it stops the time and it does stop our life. Then we cannot keep that pain inside our heart. Somehow we have to take it out from our body and release and so that we can feel a little bit lighter.

When we don’t have anybody to express and share our pains we got nothing to do. Our pains are mixed up with our bloods – that’s that I believe. So can we take our pain out through our blood. Just take some blood out out of our body and then her ewe go, some pain are out. When I see the blood drops are falling on the floor and splashing up, what do I feel? I found out that the smaller drops makes bigger and sharper splashes then the bigger drops. Doest that mean that sometimes some small pains can make us so painful? Why sometimes blood comes out like it is so cheap and it doesn’t have any wish to stay inside our body? Sometimes I cannot find any difference between blood and water.

I have lost something today. Something very significant in my life. I think the most significant, the most meaningful and the most important person of my life. I am not sure yet whether I have lost that person completely. But I think I am on that way. I wish I can show this world that I don’t want to lose that person. But, I cannot hold her as well. She has gone so far already. All my hearts are crying to stop her but I have got nothing to stop her. My words, my wishes, my breath or my blood – nothing is stopping her. It made me so much painful and made me so heavy that I couldn’t and I cant bear it. I don’t know what did I do wrong but I only know on thing that I never want her to go. I wish I can cut my chest and bring my heart out and show her what is inside for her. But, I guess, I am not that brave. I feel very useless sometimes. I don’t know what is in her mind and what is happening around her, I don’t know what is true and what is false – but I just know one thing, and that is I am the one who always loses. My life has become very cheap but my survivals has become very very expensive. To breath one time I have to pay with many valuable possessions of my life. Now that I got my heart in so much pain and so much in heavy state, I don’t know how to take that pain out of my body. I tired everything – talking to myself in front of the mirror, talking to the cat in the house, talking to the Tulip tree in the back yard, pulling my hair, closing my eyes, taking tears out from eyes and make it dry and finally taking bloods out of my body. But this pain is so much in weight that nothing is working with it. I can’t take this out of my body. I am feeling so much pain inside but nobody can understand it. I wish that person can understand it. I wish that person can see the pain inside me. But I guess, I am one of those unfortunate people in this world who doesn’t deserve anything at all. Who doesn’t worth to have a life or a dream or anything.

I wish I could be in a better position. I wish I could be in a better situation. I wish I could take my pain out. I wish I could show her what is inside me. All these things I only can wish I suppose. At the very edge of my life now I can see only darkness hugging me tightly. I want to tell her now How much I do love her. But I cannot. She will never know it. Perhaps she will never understand it. May be she will know it someday, but I guess it will be too late. So be it. If that person reading this, then I want to tell her once again, in front of the whole world, the three words and probably those three words are forbidden for me to pronounce but still I don’t care.

             “I Love You, I love you more than anything, I love you more than anybody
              anybody in this world, I love you with all my heart and soul, I love you
              with my all dreams and I love you with my life which is cursed and
              which has now ended.”

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§ 16 Responses to Some drops of blood & some pains – A Bloody Hand

  • Anjali says:

    Nahidrains -> Finally you in love. And you are losing it. You always have been a playboy since i know you…girls just loves u how come she doesnt..who is it?

  • Farzana says:

    Finally…you in love..lolz..u gonna break the heart of many girlss…but good thing….Can i try on u???

  • Afrida says:

    hmm..very sad NahidRains. ..dont worry…i think in this whiole world one thing is very easy and that is get a girl for ureself..and u can get almost anyone!!

  • Nourneen says:

    Hey Nahid! how come..wats wrong wd u man! dun be sad..u look good when u happy………

  • Amy says:

    inally u r in love!!!!!!!!!!! lOlzzz.. thought u wud never………so…she is the one?? who is she….the fb lady…..A???? hehe. i now…luv u bro..

  • Ontora says:

    Pyaar kher hobhi geya….miss u man…..wnna hang out wid u in delhi stil..if too sad come to delhi…

  • Mizaan says:

    You such an asssss…..blooy spoilt kid…ure ruchness will destroy u…

  • Mejbah says:

    You are rite Mezbah…nahidrains…i knwo if u pt any bad comments in your website you will find me..chase me and kick my ass badly…but still….u r so arrogant thats why ure girl leaving u ….i am happpyyy for that..u shud have a lesson…u broke so many grisls heart already ….may be u didnt…but u had so many gfs lready……fuck them again .

  • Lukochuri says:

    Aha…your gf who is leaving u is my mate and i know she has got another bf already..so she is dumping u….u dun beleive me …but ask some pppl..loll.z.z.poor u ..u r beng dumped…

  • BanglaTown says:

    HMmm…Nahidrains…i think u got a lot of girls as u re friend and all teh guys enemies..lol.z……..but yeah u r lucky though…by the way at least congratulations on you new relationship with A. I know her too I guess. I know you too very well Nahid. Remember—Jamica…NY….Showdown…yeah..u got me bad that time…may be next time i will see u

  • A**** says:

    Ok to all of u that says u knw me please get a life, LUKOCHURI whatever u are..do u really knw me huh??? Everybody please get a life of ur own and stop hating!!!!! Im not leaving him, im with him and i love him very much!!! hope its cleared up some confusion!! LOVE YOU SWEETY!!!! xxxx

  • nahidrains says:

    Thanks honey. all of the bad ass people posting bad things, hve a life man. Dont be that free al the time. Get yourself a job and do that accordingly. Dont be ust hand to mouth. Love you A*****.

  • Bianca says:

    Dear A****,

    Lolz, congratulations. I am jelous though. But yeah ,,,……NahidRains…..are you sure about him. Did he buy you or won you? Usually he buys everything….Bur he is hot though. Save him from the girls lolzz…..I know a lot of girls who will do anything from him just to be wid him even for a nite u know….by the way…..You danced with me once in Greece…later yo saw a fight and lolz…2 girls were fighting for you….lolz..that was funny…. but yeah..u were smart eough to get out of the shitt but unfortunatly u were on the journalists camera you know..lolz….i felt puty for you….but yeah i still look that newspaper magaine where u were holding me….i loed the way you hold me….but yeah…that was the last time i saw u though…but u are still a player..lolz..heard that u got married and then divorced…….simple for u i guess…….by the way..A***…did u know that though..i am trying to be a bitch now..lolz……

  • A**** says:

    Bianca, didnt think u was being a bitch, just informative i thought…..but u didnt need to be coz i knw everything abt him already!!! as for me being bought or won…….bianca how much u cost??? my next door neighbours dog is looking for a BITCH…..give me ur info so i can pass it on.

  • Nahidrains says:

    Sunita….

    I know u ….in the ballroom party there….yeah…u were dancing wid me…but yeah u were quite bad at that…..and u are a cheap bitch and so..u know..i dun get along with cheapies..and dat ias why didn’t see me….

    by the way, A***** is my girl and I won her….with love…not with anything else…but for u girls it is always money rite…but yeah..my body guard wudnt even buy u..u r too cheap for my guards as well…….anyways..hows ure dad…still shaving sucking the cock of the business people for extra income..he wanted to suck mine though..but u know…..cannot…..lolz…enjoyyyyyy

  • Priyanka says:

    oooooooooooooo..nwty NahidRains…..lolz……so many girls for u lolz…….did they all sucked ure cock? lolz lolz….u enjoy it isnt it…..u …really a playboy u know….player……

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